


open the door

by meltingheart



Series: polaroids [1]
Category: SHINee
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Summer 2016?, T for alcohol and nothing else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 10:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16973187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meltingheart/pseuds/meltingheart





	open the door

 

When Jonghyun steps out from the recording studio, after the ON AIR light flickers off for the last time that night, he’s not expecting to see Minho reclining in one of the uncomfortable waiting area chairs, staring up at him with an expectant smile. Jonghyun blinks in surprise. Perhaps it wasn’t the  _ last  _ thing he expected to see, but it was definitely on the higher half of the list.

 

_ Maybe it shouldn’t be _ , his mind whispers. He shoves that thought back down into the recesses he never visits until he’s in bed, when he’s staring at the painting above his fireplace, wondering if he and Minho could be the subjects of it someday. It’s something that happens too frequently these days. 

 

“What are you doing here?” He greets, easily, grabbing Minho’s hand to pull the taller to his feet. 

 

Minho wraps him in a brief hug, before replying, “You sounded tired on the air tonight. Thought you could use some company.” 

 

Oh, right. Somehow Jonghyun had forgotten that Minho tuned in regularly. “Did I?” Jonghyun smiles up at Minho. They’re standing close together ( _ not close enough _ ) and Jonghyun enjoys the warm feeling Minho seems to radiate. “Maybe you were right. What did you have in mind?” 

 

Minho lights up even more, and pulls him by their still-joined hands out into the night. Jonghyun dutifully follows him along the empty city streets. It had rained earlier, the slick black pavement being painted over in bright reds and blues by scattered streetlights. 

 

Before he knows it, they’re at the discreet entrance of a bar. A neon sign hangs behind the tinted glass -  _ open late _ . Jonghyun wonders if it’s too late. He glances at Minho. Minho, still with one hand loose in his, smiling at him as he holds the door open.

 

Maybe it’s never too late, he decides, walking in first with a quiet  _ thank you _ . Minho leads him forward, this time with a hand that Jonghyun can feel warming the small of his back even through his padded jacket. He seats them at a tucked-away corner booth, somewhere even more dimly lit than the rest of the bar, where the quiet conversations around them are almost indecipherable. Almost. Jonghyun knows he heard someone ask if SHINee were at that table. 

 

Jonghyun decides that for the moment, SHINee aren’t sitting at this table. It’s just Kim Jonghyun and Choi Minho, his friend ( _ his crush _ ) who has left to grab them some drinks. He comes back quickly though, bringing a side basket of fried jalapeños with him. 

 

“Really?” Jonghyun laughs, taking the first sip of his cocktail. “Deep-fried peppers?” 

 

“I happen to think the burn of the alcohol and the burn of fried spicy shit goes wonderful together,” Minho retorts, popping one in his mouth with a grin. He promptly chokes on it and Jonghyun just laughs louder, reaching over the table to pat him on the shoulder in a way that isn’t helpful at all. 

 

The mood is comfortable as it drifts between topics, and though Jonghyun’s having a hard time keeping himself from trying to keep up with Minho in drinks, he’s happy. Relaxed. More than he’s been in a long time - Minho was right, he did need this. He smiles down at his drink.

 

“- and so I thought, why not! It’s about time, don’t you think? At least I’ll be able to say I did it.” Minho blinks at him with those wide eyes of his. “...Jonghyun? Are you zoning again?”

 

“Oh, uh,” Jonghyun starts in his seat. Minho had been (maybe) talking about his styling for their upcoming album before he stopped listening and started simply watching the way Minho’s lips moved to shape words. Jonghyun considers not saying what immediately comes to mind, but the few shots he’s thrown back in the last fifteen minutes spur him on. “I think you look great no matter what.”

 

To his surprise, Minho blushes a little, hiding a smile behind the rim of his glass as he takes a sip. “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Jonghyun stutters. “You’re very- very handsome, Minho, anyone would be lucky to…” He trails off when he realizes what he’s saying.

 

“To?” Minho leans in over the table, and Jonghyun looks away from the flush along his cheekbones, from the sparks in his eyes. 

 

“To. To um,” Jonghyun still hasn’t found a place to look besides at Minho, eyes flitting every direction, “to have the honor of styling you. For. Our album.”

 

Minho laughs, sitting back in his seat. Jonghyun almost heaves a sigh of relief. “You know, I was gonna suggest a game of pool after this, but I think you’ve had too much to drink tonight, Jonghyunnie. You’re barely staying with me.” 

 

_ I don’t have to be sober to knock your balls around,  _ Jonghyun almost blurts out. Maybe he is too drunk. 

 

“I’ll say,” Minho replies, shuffling his way out of the booth. Damn it, Jonghyun’d said that second part out loud. “C’mon, I’ll walk you home.” He takes his time putting his jacket back on, but Minho leads him to the door and pays both their tabs soon enough. Jonghyun feels like pouting and dragging Minho back to the comfortable bubble of their booth. He doesn’t want this night to be over yet. 

 

Halfway down an alleyway in between two streets that Jonghyun thinks might be close to his place, he stops walking. Maybe if he stops, time will stop with him, and they can stay in this predawn world where only the two of them seem to exist, and their relationship could be anything and everything. Jonghyun watches Minho’s back continue past him for a few more steps before Minho pauses and turns with a frown. 

 

“What’s wrong? Why’d you stop?” 

 

Minho doesn’t step back towards him, simply tilting his head in confusion. Jonghyun sighs. He doesn’t know why he’s being so open with these feelings - maybe it was the alcohol. “I don’t want tonight to be over.” 

 

Minho smiles at him. Even in the crisp chill of a fall night, he’s so warm, Jonghyun observes. “There’s always next time, Jonghyun.”

 

“It’s not gonna be the same for me,” Jonghyun tries to explain before his mind catches up with his mouth. “Not the same as tonight.” 

 

Curiosity lighting his eyes, Minho walks back up to him, stopping when they’re barely within each other’s personal space. “What do you mean?” 

 

Jonghyun opens his mouth, then closes it again, shaking his head. Why did he say that?

 

“Jonghyun,” Minho says after a minute of silence, grasping his hand. “How would it be different from tonight?” Minho’s hand around his has Jonghyun transfixed in the state he’s in, the way Minho’s rougher fingers feel against his palm anchoring him back to reality. 

 

“Because,” Jonghyun sighs, pausing. He already started this conversation. He may as well see it through, even though he’d promised himself for over a year he wouldn’t start it in the first place. “Because tonight felt like… a date. And that’s what I really, really wanted it to be.” His voice, a normal volume at the start, is almost at a whisper when he finishes. 

 

Minho’s silent, and Jonghyun looks up from where he’s been staring at their entwined hands, nervous at what he might see in the other’s familiar eyes. Anger? Disappointment? But Jonghyun finds a look he’s never been able to read on Minho, one glossed over with emotion he doesn’t fully understand. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Jonghyun wriggles his hand out of Minho’s, looking back down at the pavement. When he’s staring at the blurry colors spilled across cracked asphalt instead of at Minho, it’s easier to let his words spill out the same way. “I’m not sorry for what I wanted, what I feel. But I’m sorry I said it. I never wanted you to know, I’m just… we’re members of the same group. I never wanted to jeopardize that by telling you.”

 

Minho still doesn’t reply, and Jonghyun feels a little like crying. This moment was a mistake he wishes he’d been sober enough to never have made. He takes a deep breath in, and steps forward to walk past Minho and continue on his way home. Maybe they can just leave this behind them. Maybe if he’s lucky, both of them have drunk too much to even remember this slip-up tomorrow morning. 

 

What he isn’t expecting is for Minho’s hand to catch his wrist as he brushes past, and hold him there with a sure grip. Jonghyun looks up, eyes wide. Minho’s other arm grasps his bicep, turning him bodily towards Minho. Jonghyun is opening his mouth to ask him what the hell he’s doing when Minho surges further into his personal space, covering his mouth with his own. 

 

Jonghyun is not surprised that Minho’s lips are chapped, at least. The dryness of them feels scratchy, but otherwise, it’s so warm, so  _ right _ . But he still wants to cry, and he doesn’t understand why Minho would do this. Jonghyun pulls away almost immediately, despite the excitement wiggling in his stomach when Minho’s tongue tries to brush its way along Jonghyun’s top lip and into his mouth. 

 

Once more Jonghyun finds himself searching Minho’s eyes. All the unknown depth seems gone from them, hidden behind steadfastness and courage Jonghyun more easily recognizes. With his own wide-eyed confusion and drawn eyebrows, he doesn’t think verbal questions are needed. 

 

“I wanted it that way too,” Minho gets out, ears turning bright red. Jonghyun blinks. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I,” Minho moves the hand on his bicep to the back of his neck, running his fingers slowly through the buzzed edges of Jonghyun’s hair. Jonghyun feels like his skin is lighting up everywhere Minho touches it, leaving behind heated paths and turning him into a bright beacon. “I wanted this to be a date so fucking bad. But it couldn’t be, because you’d never feel that way about me.” 

 

Jonghyun feels lost for words. He shakes his head a few times, before he leans forward, grabbing Minho’s shirt in his fists. Scrunching his eyes shut, he laughs down at the ground. 

 

“Why are you laughing?!” Minho sounds so offended, and Jonghyun just shakes his head more, his head resting against the center of Minho’s chest. A few tears finally slip out of his eyes, but he’s not sad anymore. 

 

“I just can’t believe everything that just happened,” he says. “All this time… I liked you all this time and never did anything about it. I wish I said something sooner.” 

 

Minho sighs, and Jonghyun can hear the smile in his voice this time as he replies, “I wish I did too. We really made this way too hard.” The hand which had been around Jonghyun’s slim wrist had drifted at some point onto his back, where it was rubbing patterns absently. 

 

“I also wish I could kiss you right now, kiss you for real I mean,” Jonghyun mumbles, “But we’re in public, and we’re two high-profile celebrities, in case you forgot either of those facts.”

 

“Well… if you remember we’re in public then you’ll also remember we’re only a few blocks away from your house.” 

 

Jonghyun shoots up, hitting Minho’s shoulder with one hand. “I won’t put out on this kind of a first date! I deserve to be wined and dined properly after this emotional rollercoaster!” 

 

“I just meant,” Minho splutters, blush covering every bit of exposed skin from his neck up, “I just meant for kissing!” 

 

Jonghyun pretends to think about it for all of two seconds before he grabs Minho’s wrist and speedwalks the rest of the way there. 

 

* * *

 

It had taken almost twenty minutes to get Minho on his way back to his own home that night. Every time they turned to say goodnight to each other at the entryway to Jonghyun’s home, they both dissolved into hushed giggles and flurried kisses. Jonghyun feels like a teenager finally together with his high school crush as he lays back down in his own bed after all but pushing Minho out the door. 

 

He turns on one side, staring down the painting he’d fantasized about being in so many times. A smug smile turns up one corner of his mouth as he realizes that those fantasies are part of his reality right now.

 

As soon as the thought sinks in, his brain turns back on, recovering as the last buzz from Minho’s kisses finally left. 

 

Oh god, what had he done? He and Minho were both happy tonight, but what about tomorrow? What about their careers? Jonghyun feels cold seeping through him from his joints outwards, anchoring him down to his bed. 

 

The what-ifs are endless, and all awful, and Jonghyun knows it would really be better if he nips this right here. He tries to reconstruct a sandcastle of understandable thought from what his waves of anxiety had torn down before reaching for his phone and speed-dialing Minho. 

 

It’s only a handful of rings before Minho picks up. “ _ Something wrong? You missed me this much already? _ ” His voice is light and teasing. Jonghyun can hear the sleepy chirping of birds in the background - they’d spent the whole night together, but Minho has had shoots scheduled for just after dawn for months now. He frowns, trying not to feel guilty for something Minho had just as much of a say in doing.

 

“Minho, I,” he starts, then sighs, curling a hand over his eyes. “Is everything going to be okay? Between us? We didn’t even talk about anything…” 

 

“ _ Everything’s perfect, as far as I’m concerned, _ ” Minho replies. “ _ And I was hoping I’d remember to bring up that I wanted to, um. Be your boyfriend. But I guess I forgot to. So I’m sorry if that made you worried. _ ” He sounds flustered, almost shy. 

 

“I’d really like to be,” Jonghyun mumbles. “Your boyfriend, I mean. Everything’s perfect with me too when it comes to just you and me, but what about… everything else? Everything outside us.”

 

“ _ Jonghyun-ah. _ ” Minho answers after a moment spent quiet. He rarely calls him that, rarely uses this gentle, loving tone. It’s more calming every time. Jonghyun feels kind of like Pavlov’s dog, but instead he’s Minho’s puppy, able to be somewhat soothed just by this. “ _ Jinki told me a few months ago that I have to do something about my too-obvious crush. Don’t worry about the members, okay? Obviously all our friends won’t mind, either. And the managers, the company… who gives a damn. We both know the amount of half-cooked straight scandals they’ve made up to cover up relationships like ours. It’ll be just fine. _ ” 

 

Jonghyun nods to himself, forgetting that Minho can’t see him. Some of the words Minho uses ( _crush, ours, boyfriend_ ) ring through his ears over and over, like the tune of a song he just can't not love. The oppressive void weighing on him seems to shrink back a little when he finally removes his hand from his face, tucking it under his head instead. “I don’t know why I’m so worried. I guess I just don’t want all this to disappear, now that I finally have it. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow or the next day and have my chance with you ripped away.”

 

“ _ It won’t be, not if I have any say in it. _ ” There’s a warm smile in Minho’s voice, even through the tinny phone speaker. “ _ Are you okay, for now? _ ”

 

Humming, Jonghyun replies, “Tomorrow might be the same deal though. Are you sure you wanna deal with my insomniac paranoia?” 

 

“ _ I have for years now, Jonghyun-ah, I think I can handle a few days more of it. But um, I think I’m almost to the set. I gotta go for now. Talk to you later! _ ” 

 

“Thanks, Mino.” Jonghyun doesn’t feel like he’ll sleep today, but at least he won’t be tossing and turning over this for a while yet. “Kick ass at filming today.”

 

* * *

Jonghyun opens the door of the recording room of Blue Night after the night’s show to see Minho slouched in one of the waiting chairs, one leg crossed over the other. Minho smiles up at him, and the warm feeling that’s been lifting Jonghyun a couple centimeters above the ground these last few days gets a little warmer.

 

He smiles back at Minho, grabbing his hand and pulling him up. “I could really get used to this treatment, you know,” he teases, leaning in. Minho meets him halfway, chastely kissing the corner of his mouth.

 

“Don’t worry, you will.” Jonghyun notices that the hand on the small of his back presses harder and surer than it had last time this happened as it ushers him out into the night. 


End file.
